Piss off positivity! Lockdown #6

As a self-professed ‘positivity’ preacher going into lockdown number 6, I’m suddenly aware of how toxic this mindset is right now for some.

Our first lock down was about fostering feelings of gratitude for unexpected time spent with family, kindness, rainbows made with crepe paper from the lost and forgotten craft box placed in front windows to cheer passes by, novelty make shift lounge room classrooms, clean eating, a productive DIY project and a cleansing wardrobe clean out.

Fast forward to lockdown 6 and kids are online learning in bed wearing Oodies, I’ve eaten Violet Crumble for brekkie and I’m thinking about Baileys by 10am. Now is the time to keep it real. Giving yourself permission to feel however it is you are feeling and to know that’s very healthy and normal is our new way forward.

Yesterday Lifeline received 3345 calls, more than is has in its 58 history in Australia. Now is not the time to create unrealistic expectations of ourselves or others. Positivity is no longer the bench mark and that’s ok right now, lets take some pressure off!

So what if we start relooking at how to support ourselves and others during this seemingly endless chapter in history? This may take some unlearning of things deeply entrenched in us but for now…. Its time to take a break from brain training!

  1. When someone reaches out to you, stop saying things like “find the positives” or “there is always a silver lining”. Instead validate the emotion and remove an expectation for there to be a happy ending to the conversation. This applies to your own feelings!
  2. If you are not in the position to be a support person for a friend, tell them but ensure they do have someone they can download with. You may only have the energy to be your own support person right now, and that’s ok.
  3. Don’t finish discussions with “people have it worse than me”. We all know there is always someone worse off but investing energy into that thought process at the moment only disqualifies our own emotions.
  4. Don’t compete with others lives, mental states, motivation levels and outlooks. Yours is yours, theirs is theirs.
  5. Understand positivity isn’t the bench mark right now. Your mental health is. Doing this will take immense pressure off you and others.
  6. Set realistic goals such a keeping structure and some daily routines not painting the entire house or baking banana bread for 300 of your closest friends and community.

Most importantly- know we are dynamic emotional creatures who are not meant to live on a fine line of any one type of emotional state. You are loved, validated and very normal!! X

Image: www.medium.com




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